I feel like killing time,
To transform myself into a mime
For actions to be louder than words,
Again, hoping it sends a message
For truly I am a mess at this age;
To kill time, I have to kill myself,
Free me of my struggles and mind
The anxiety, loneliness and depression,
If I am to go, would anyone mind?
Hello family, I reached to you first,
‘An emotional teenager’ was your best–
Now suicide calls and I cannot stall,
The phone keeps ringing like my mind does.
The excessive euphoria and extreme sadness,
From twitched sanity to my madness,
My rehab was loneliness, suicide cared.
What is my fragile mind to do now,
As my friends downplay my sharing
Of emotional breakdown into exaggeration:
I thought sharing was caring, or?
So I cared about me, I only needed help.
My mental suffering was blatant
But my teachers called it drama,
Was I a child acting or acting out,
Or was my navigation moved to suicide’s route?
My sunday school teacher noticed,
She told my parents was what she did.
Was she too busy to be of help?
Was I a burden she could not bear?
Why not show me the bible and scriptures,
My burden was one Jesus could bear.
And now I am gone.
I tried to hold on but suicide convinced me:
“Let go I would catch you”.
I let go and it did, unlike any of you.